About the time I ruined my ex-father-in-law's Chrysler 300.

The title is so very true.  Not only did I ruin it; but I caved in the roof and completely blew out the entire windshield.  And yes, he was my EX-father-in-law at the time.

Let us take a trip down memory lane, circa December 2009.  It was almost a year since I left my ex husband, and I was still without a set of wheels.  My ex-father-in-law, who generally likes to do nice things for people and then later hang it over their head, used to let me borrow his 2007 Chrysler 300 when I had important appointments or random errands that needed to be done.  I took the good with the bad, it was all about the sacrifices then.  Anyway, I was running late one night and he decided to just let me keep the car over night.  Sweet.  So I have a cool ride for the night, and I JUST met this really weird, but kind of hot guy named A.  A invites me over, and guess what?  I have a ride, so I go.

I am at A's house and for a while before I realize it is getting late and I have work the next morning.  A walks me out to the car.  We aren't but 5 feet from the vehicle when a loud crack rocks our ear drums.  A considerably large branch from the tree I was parked under snaps off the tree, lands on the roof of the car denting it in, and explodes into a million tiny wooden fragments that fly through the air towards my cold, nauseated body.  I was horrified, and numb, and I think I might have peed a little.

At that point, the only thing running through my mind was this: "I took my EX-FATHER-IN-LAW'S car to a DUDES HOUSE to do the YOU KNOW WHAT."

We both stood there quietly.  A thought it was my car, so he's all "dude, man, it's OK.  You got insurance right?  Man, it's OK" and I'm all "shut up before I punch you in the head."  A started walking towards the car saying "You need to open up the door or-".  Before he can finish the sentence (That explains something that would have saved the windshield from sending shards of misery through the night air), the entire windshield blows outward into the street.  Shattered glass covers the asphalt about 15 in front of the car.

At this point I am wildly crying in the middle of the road in front a small crowd of neighborhood folks.  Instead of asking if I needed help, or a number to a towing company, or a shot of tequila, they all just quietly stood on their stoops, smoking cigarettes and scratching their asses.  Meanwhile, back at the funny farm, A walks inside and comes back out with a beer, cracks it open, and swallows the entire contents in one swift move.

Instead of calmly calling my ex-father-in-law to let him know that a tree limb outside of my fun buddy's house smashed his car, I drove it home, via interstate, parked it in the very back corner of the parking lot, and cried in fetal position on my bed until 5 am.

That night pretty much sums up my current relationship with my ex-father-in-law.

It all worked out though.  His insurance company believed our story that a sudden thunder and lightning storm sent a loose limb flying through the air and exploded all over the car.  And he really wasn't all that mad.  He was mad that I smoked a cigarette in it, though.

That was the last time I saw A.  We texted back and forth for a while afterwards, and then slowly that tapered off.  About 6 or 7 months later he calls me, just to let me know he's back from rehab.  (Insert large animated question mark above my head.)  He then tells me that he never asked to see me again because I ACTED KIND OF SQUIRRELLY THAT NIGHT.

I guess he was right.